


Letters She'll Never Send

by Leventris



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21666916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leventris/pseuds/Leventris
Summary: This is a compilation of letters, simply put. Meant to be read but never meant to be sent.
Kudos: 1





	Letters She'll Never Send

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2019 10:44 PM

Dear Reader,

Daily do I struggle with my mind. It's not always constant nor consistent, but however I feel is always so strong. If I'm happy, I'm absolutely bubbly and energetic. My laughter is contagious and I can't stop smiling. I don't know where that energy is coming from but it ends up draining me. If I'm sad, I'm out for the count. I'm probably holed up in my car or hiding under the covers of my bed, maybe even taking some time in the shower for myself with my music blaring so my roommate can't hear me be upset. Most of the time it feels like I'm drowning, that's all I can think of how to describe it. There's no other feeling that comes close.

It was some years ago a doctor had diagnosed me with severe anxiety, depression, and eventually borderline personality disorder. BPD definitely explains why I always feel things so strongly. I haven't been on medication in years, though. I used to be on Prozac when I was a sophomore in high school, but I never felt any different when I took it so I kind of just stopped. That, and I also forgot to take my medication. I never went back to the doctor to change up the type of medication I was taking, either, and I let my mother forget about it. She never brought it up as she was almost as forgetful as I was.

There are some things out there that make me feel whole and complete, and much better as a person that I actually feel like I can control my emotions. Recently, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and went on my own to a dance night downtown in the city. I've never danced before, but I've always wanted to learn. And this dance night in particular was a swing dance night, a style that I've found the most interesting. Let me tell you, I've never felt so happy nor confident. Not only was I talking to a whole bunch of new people and making new connections, I was also learning how to do something I really came to enjoy. I was asked to dance by multiple people and I learned more and more with each step. Now I'm joining a local dance group that does lessons.

Not only does dancing make me feel better, but so do honest relationships. The real friends and family that aren't afraid to show you they love you and care for you, and vice versa of course. It's just rare to find these days.

I think that's really it, honestly. At least, all for today. Thank you for reading this through.

Always,

Her


End file.
